Ask yourself: When was the last time I held back from saying what needed to be said? Why am I hesitating to speak up? What impact has my silence had?
— Kim Scott
As a young leader (many years ago) delivering tough feedback was one of my biggest hurdles. I often avoided addressing performance issues in an effort to maintain a positive culture, but it didn’t take me long to realize my soft pedaling or evasion had the opposite effect. Problems don’t fix themselves—they escalate.
Avoiding tough conversations will continue to negatively impact your culture and team performance. And when you finally do decide to make a move, you’ll be sitting across from someone who has been affecting your team for months, only to hear them say, “I don’t understand—no one ever told me…” Holding people accountable is not the part of the job we all look forward to, but it is an essential part of leadership. Accountability isn’t about punishment—it’s about growth. There will be people who grow with you and the team, and there will be people who move on.
🚫 Common Excuses for Avoiding Tough Conversations:
❌ “It’ll hurt their feelings.”
❌ “I don’t like conflict.”
❌ “They should already know better.”
❌ “This will resolve itself.”
❌ “This person will talk badly about me to the team.”
Using any of the aforementioned excuses may buy you a little time to stay comfortable, but depending on the severity of the issue—or the number of times you avoid addressing it—you will inevitably end up in a far more uncomfortable situation. It’s always easier to be clear about your expectations and your team’s follow-through upfront. Most leaders learn this the hard way, as tough conversations are one of the biggest challenges I see for those newly promoted into leadership.
✔️ What Strong Leaders Do:
✅ Address performance gaps swiftly and clearly.
✅ Remove personal bias—focus on facts.
✅ Balance honesty with care.
When it’s time to give feedback, remember:
♟ Address issues swiftly.
♟ Be clear, not harsh.
♟ Speak to the behavior, not the person.
♟ Expect improvement, don’t just hope for it.
Delivering “The News” doesn’t mean being cruel. It means maintaining high standards while showing care. Mastering this skill with both candor and compassion will make you the kind of leader who fosters a positive environment and drives results. Learn more about how to hold effective “news” conversations in Learn to Lead.
♜ Have your team go through Chapter 13 together to assess how effectively you’re implementing this move ♜